New Phyrexia - An Excercise in the Aesthetics of Too Few New Ideas

Well, it's been a few days since it happened, but our club had a draft tournament last week.  New Phyrexia.  Those words make me want to spit.  Apologies for not getting it posted Friday, kinda had a hectic weekend here!

I want to say a little something about this block that has really bothered me, but no one else on the web has said anything like what I have been feeling.

The return of Phyrexia IS NOT WELCOME.  Not that it would be from a Mirran's perspective, but I'm talking about a design standpoint.  Why are we retreading this?  Almost half the game expansions have to do with Phyrexia, and remember how refreshing it was when Yawgmoth was slain and we could explore other worlds?

It's pretty much an egregious insult to anyone who fought and helped destroy Yawgmoth himself.

Well, I think it's high-minded hack that they brought this enemy back from the dead.  Phyrexia is OVER man. Now they apparently have run out of ideas and brought back an enemy we already defeated.  This entire block, I've had this feeling that they are literally scraping the bottom of the idea barrel.  Couldn't anyone have thought up something novel??  Something like Kamigawa, Ravnica, Zendikar or any of the others?  Couldn't something else have been lurking on Mirrodin?

Before you start saying "it's a neat story arc that will allow us to bring back a seminal Magic enemy and will reach out into the Multiverse, sparking new conflicts".

Shut your mouth.  Nicol Bolas is doing great as the main Magic enemy, and that storyline is MUCH BETTER  than what has happened on Mirrodin.

Phyrexia is OVER.  It was OVER years ago.  By bringing it back in the fashion that they have, the designers have literally told us that they have run out of ideas and must begin to retread material.

I have a few of my own.  How about a Native American block?  Or a Persian block?  Or something weirder, like the original Mirrodin block??  How about a return to Ravnica or Kamigawa, maybe with a new enemy??

The mechanics and design of New Phyrexia (and the entire block in general) are complete idiocy, and a step backwards for all planeswalkers this side of Dominaria.  From Infect to Phyrexian Mana, this insult to our intelligence will not go unpunished.

The designers have blogged about how the feel of the new block is basically forcing you to feel raped.  This is infuriating, and no game should make you feel that way - but when a 10/10 Infect creature that your opponent paid for with Phyrexian mana (when you thought it was tapped out) wins the game on turn 4, something has gone wrong.

Not to mention the fact that our confidence in the designers has recently been shaken by the announced bans in Standard on July 1.  I'll blog about that in a few days.  For now, I'll just say...

I want Phyrexia UTTERLY DESTROYED.  All the designers whose idea this was need to be fired.  That includes Mark Rosewater, who has proven once and for all that we need to change out Magic designers faster than D&D designers.

I hope you are listening, Wizards of the Coast.

Phyrexia needs to be FORGOTTEN.  Something new, please - or this particular club will playing Legend of the Five Rings on card game nights.  When Magic 2012 and Innistad are released, if I see even one "Phyrexian" card I'll be super-enraged.

We already did this.  Yawgmoth is dead - unless the designers really need to resurrect him and rehash the whole first decade of the game with more ridiculous mechanics.

A vision of "compleation".

Yeah, I have a serious issue with the aesthetics of this block, but like any warrior worth his blades I dug in and fought using the powers of the Phyrexians (like I was forced to by the Magic designers).

White was a huge draft color, and Bignutt took home most of the packs with a Phyrexian life gain deck.  Dirty Greg drafted nearly the same deck and both of them took a long time to die.  Everyone else won two matches, save for myself and Skim (1 each) and Big Matt, who is a novice at Magic.  He would have done better, I think, if the mechanics for this new expansion weren't so counter intuitive.

The number of questions that popped up during the tournament was higher than average even among experienced players.  Some of the star cards were Karn Liberated, Suture Priest, Thundering Tanadon, Shrine of Endless Rage.  The other shrines were also present and contributed a lot to the battles.

Personally - I'm seriously glad this block is over.  I'm also glad our club got to fight in the war for Mirrodin.

I'll be even happier if I don't ever see another Phyrexian - but I know there will be at least one more block where we must destroy them once and for all.

I'll allow that, Wizards of the Coast.  However, when we destroy them this time, you're not allowed to resurrect them even if you run out of ideas.

Welcome to Ft. Grant!!

This summer, the Wargate starts off what will become a staple of gaming in these here parts. I'm talking about the full on Western rendition of the new World of Darkness that we've been working on!  Check out the scenario State of Play right here!

Our player characters arrive in the fictional town of Ft. Grant, where they have already had a run-in with the law - deputized and ordered to help protect federal prisoners!!  It's already been pretty exciting, and it's only going to get better.

Today, I'd like to talk about a few other things that have been on my mind since beginning this project.

I actually live in what was the Indian Territory.  I am also a card-carrying Native American of the Muscogee Creek Tribe, Alligator Clan.  I felt that I seriously needed to start writing in this genre for a great many reasons.  I have spent the last year and a half researching various items in the field for their minutiae, and feel that I'm in a good position to put pen to paper, and dice to the table.  History will be well represented.

In the World of Darkness, however - things have a slightly different bend.  Our "history" didn't quite go as we "expect" it to.  The Wild West of Darkness has a few things slightly different, however events and names were thoroughly researched to provide a strong basis in actual history.  Thus, I'll be staying far away from "real history" as possible to tell the story - think of it as canon.  If I ran Star Wars, you'd probably not meet famous figures from the movies.  Likewise, you won't be meeting Wyatt Earp in the Dodge City in the World of Darkness - at least not when Dave's running it.

I have changed some of the behavior of the Indian tribes from their historical analogue in order to create a more dangerous locale, albeit entirely fictional.  Any racism or bigotry that arises in any text associated with this game should be taken lightly - it's the Old West.  It is what it is - you just have to learn to laugh at stereotypes and misconceptions.  Have you seen Mad TV's Eddie Thundercloud??  On the one hand that's deeply offensive to me to the point where I wish I had a spear, a tomahawk and whoever was responsible for this.  On the other hand - it's pretty hilarious and I want to share it with people.  To be honest, I'm not that embarrassed by certain stereotypes.

Enough about that.  I'll close up saying I'm going to make as many white people jokes as native jokes.  Writing in the western genre has been a rewarding experience for many reasons, not the least of which being I am finally digging into material that is literally laying all around me.  I hope it's as fun for our players and readers as it has been for me.  As I get to reveal more about the game during the sessions, we'll see more actual game logs from me here on the blog.

One more thing to keep in mind, gamers.  In this rendition of the World of Darkness, you better be careful with guns going off.  There isn't any magical healing, and gunshots take days to heal properly.  Even a light wound might put you off for days, and a doctor may or may not be available.  You have been warned, so try not to get shot or stabbed.  Fistfighting is an acceptable alternative to drawing guns everytime someone slights you in a saloon - this isn't the Kingdom of Aquilonia, you know.

Special thanks to Marky Mark for his grand expertise on firearms!  Not only was his advice instrumental in bringing to life the firearms of the time, he actually brought me a few pieces similar to what would be used in the period and demonstrated their use.  Now I actually know how long it takes to load a cap & ball pistol - so don't think you're gonna get one over on me (or Mark!).

See you on game night!

The Smith's Adventure Logs - Palladium in the Dales (5)

Black Frank

Sorry for the whole week's absence!  We have several events rolling at the moment and I've had little time to write as much as normal - but I'll be bringing some new material to the board as soon as I can finish it!  Meanwhile, the Smith is here to cover my bum with his weekly article, which I now dub The Smith's Adventure Logs!  

Adventure 6: Blood of Heroes

Welcome back to Forgotten Realms! This is Smith with your weekly highlights from our Palladium FRPG. Our first chapter of the Upon an Oaken Throne story has come to an end. The party stopped to investigate some fabled ruins while in Mistledale. 

Investigating a strange rumor, they found the wreckage of a floating castle - strange creatures and devices not known to this world lurked within. It wasn't long before the situation got out of hand, and before leaving the ruins the party managed to set off an ancient alarm and release four thunder orbs. They were able to escape, however.

Next our group took time to check out the sites of Ashbenford, the capital of Mistledale. Our heroes favorite spot seemed to be an famous leathercrafter who fashioned some high quality leather armor for the group and a certain Chocobo who remains nameless. 

After returning to Daggerdale, a feast is prepared in thier honor at the Inn. The Zhentarim sent a Shadow Mage and 6 Assassins to eliminate our heroes and Randal Morn in one fell swoop! Among the Assassins was Francis Black, the party's former scout!

The party was able to arrest Francis, the shadowmage and 2 of the assassins. As our next adventure begins the party is sent on another mission - this time as emmasaries to Cormyr!

Please join us 6/19/11 at 6:00 P.M. at The Wargate for some Adventure and old fashioned Beans and Cornbread. We will also be serving Chicken Chili. See you Sunday!

Beans!  Chili!  There will probably even be a rack of ribs from Big Matt!!  Roll on out on Sunday and find out what happened to Black Frank, Blackfeets, and all the other hooligans from Daggerdale!  Also, be prepared for Warmachine and Warhammer 40,000 games during the day, so get there early for face-melting fun!

The Smith's Palladium Log (4)

There will be a reckoning on the day of the armored chickens.

The Smith has been keeping us updated on his Palladium game, with weekly updates to remind us what's happening in our world here!  He's back this week with more news from the Dales...

Hello, This is Smith with your Palladium FRPG Update!

After an uneasy alliance with LeBrac (an Elven Pirate Captain), the party set out for Daggerdale to report to Randall Morn about the events that transpired in Scarsdale and request a dignitary to return and keep the peace. As the Heroes make thier way through Battledale they are ambushed by thier old friends the Warkingz Orc Tribe. 

It would have been the death of them had it not been for an unexpected ally. The Snakebite Orc tribe showed up and was able to turn the tide of the battle. Blackfeet was knocked out by one of the Warkings but Bob E. Light was able to stabalize him while Sigmund risked his life to cover Bob and Blackfeet while he was healed. After escaping the Warkingz, the group makes it to Essembra the capital of Battledale.

We had a short adventure last week due to various schedule differences. This week let's keep focused and try to finish last weeks adventure and make it through this weeks also. If we stay on track and fight hard we can do it. 

Thank you to the Wargate and all our adventurers. 

This week I am keeping it simple. I will be grilling hamburgers and bringing some buns and fixings. Hope everyone can make it for another adventure in the Upon an Oaken Throne series of Palladium FRPG.

Fantastic updates from the Smith, we appreciate your contributions to the Wargate!!  The game is rollicking along, with plenty of interest from the players and support from the GM and rest of the club!  We'll be adding more Palladium stuff soon, so see you on Sunday!

Brave New Waaagh!!!

Greetings, folks!  This evening I'd like to speak for a moment about our new campaign, and the narratives that will be driving it forward.  We will be formally starting the campaign in a few days (we granted a few extra weeks to muster larger forces) - and the ruckus is about to begin!

First off, you can check out the scoop on the campaign right here.  If you're taking part, get ready for some fantastic battles across a brand new landscape!

The top two players will receive new unit boxes for (one of) their armies, and the third place player will receive a blister from their army.  All three will receive Achievement Certificates from the Wargate as well.

The surface of Nokk is ripe for war, but what are the specific factions truly after?  (Other than a shiny new unit?)  How each army places in the final standings will affect that forces' narration through into the next campaigns.

1. Blackskull Goffs - The main force driving the Waaagh!!! to it's inevitable conclusion, the Blackskulls want to amass enough spare parts to get their ships back into the air.  The meks are convinced they can launch a large ork craft within several weeks - if the right parts are found.
2. Evil Sunz Tribe - A collection of other ork warlords from a rival tribe, the Evil Sunz are not happy to see their Goff brethren in a position to do anything other than hunt wild beasts on Nokk.  At best, an Evil Sunz warboss might become leader of the Waaagh!!! if they can defeat the Blackskulls.  At worst, there will be plenty of fighting.  Which isn't so bad.
3. Killing Frost of Tir-Tairngire - One of two Eldar hosts to attack the planet, the aliens seem bent on eradicating the other aliens:  the Necrons and the tyranid population on Nokk.  
4. Saim-Hann Attack Force - Whether or not the Eldar present on Nokk are working with or against one another, one thing is evident: they are working against everyone else.  Saim-Hann in particular would see not only the threat of the tyranids and necrons destroyed, but also the burgeoning ork migration building on the planet.
5. Necrons - Disturbed by tyranid monsters gnawing at the core of Tangrus, the Lord of Nokk has arrived on the surface intent on silencing the living and redistributing their life forces.  Enraged at the interlopers settled on his world, the Lord wants only to eradicate them all.
6. Tyranids - The Hive Mind impels it's progeny toward one end - summoning more tyranids from space, and continuing to survive on Nokk until they arrive.  The warp is flowing according to the Hive Mind's unfathomable will, and the conditions will be perfect for a new invasion from the sky.  If, that is, the proper ground can be taken and the psychic beacons erected and protected.
7. Alpha Legion - The Umbral Stalkers Cabal has used this place as a staging ground and even recruited ork warriors as mercenaries from the endless stock on the planet.  They interact with the orks so much, even they call the planet Nokk.  However, the orks are whipped into a killing frenzy, and the Legion will be hard pressed to repel attackers in their hidden bases across the planet.  They will seek to weather the storm, and retain their holdings on the planet's surface.  There might even be a little room to expand the operation...

The higher your army's standing at the end of the campaign, the closer you've gotten toward achieving your ultimate goals!  No matter how it ends, one thing is for certain.

The planet Nokk will never be the same.

Welkommen Zu Wissenland Campaign Standings!

Greetings!  It's been a few days since I've posted, but not due to lack of cooking up good stuff for my fellow Wargate Crashers!

Today we examine the situation in Wissenland.  Click here for more information on the battle that has raged for the past three months!  The campaign is over, and the results are in!  The individual scores for the campaign (and the lasting effects it will have on our future Warhammer campaigns) are described below.  This is for the overall victory in Wissenland!

1. 50 Points - Beasts of Chaos (Herd of Fekul-Hoof)
2. 49 Points - Lizardmen (Ahuiateteo)
3. 45 Points - Empire (Imperial Regiments of Wissenland)
4. 39 Points - Dwarfs (Throng of Khazid Grimaz)
5. 38 Points - Vampire Counts (House Von Klockenshrok)
6. 37 Points - Ogre Kingdoms (Deathmaw Tribe)
7. 35 Points - High Elves (The Dawn Brigade)
8. 29 Points - Tomb Kings (The Pharoah's Mace)

1st Place - Herd of Fekul-Hoof - 50 Campaign Points!

The Bray Herd has come!  The forests of Wissenland teem with chaos beastmen, and it's only getting worse!  Imperial patrols have increased as much as possible, but the canny beastman shaman known as Fekul-Hoof has proven quite canny.  His knowledge of the giants high in the mountains has brought them teeming down the slopes in unprecedented numbers to wreak havoc on the lands of the smaller folk.

'Ware the woods of Wissenland, if you value your sanctity and well being!

2nd Place - Ahuiateteo - 49 Campaign Points!

Deep underneath the Khazid Grimaz, ancient beings have stirred from their timeless slumber.  As the mountain heaves and cracks with battle and warpstone, the molten core a long dormant volcano stirs to life once more.  Slithering forth from their underground city, the servants of Ahuiateteo have wrought terrible carnage on those who seek to invade or destroy their lost and forgotten domains!

They will not rest until the mountain does - that is to say, they never will!  Earthquakes will become more common around the Grey Mountains, and underground magma vents swell to life.  Be wary on your next journey into the caves and dungeons in that land, lest you find yourself burnt to a crisp or crushed beyond recovery...and that's before you find the lizard-gods.

3rd Place - Imperial Regiments - 45 Campaign Points!

However, all is not lost.  The Empire has sent aid to the Khazid Grimaz, and strengthened their own military position throughout Wissenland.  The individual generals are ignoring the Countess (who has always ignored them) and begun to prepare for the invasion from the Bloo Moonz orc tribe and marshalling forces to the aid of the dwarfs.  

Relations have been strengthened and armies bolstered all across Wissenland, but with the recent incursions of monsters, beastmen and the threat of the orc army coming through Greystone Pass, the men are on the edge of despair.  All together, it might not be enough to hold back the tide of destruction.

The Throng of Khazid Grimaz sent forth soldiers into Wissenland to help patrol the passes leading to the mountains, but were stifled and could not muster an effective attack on the hordes of destruction.

Vampires have been seen in Wissenland for some time, and even in Khazid Grimaz itself.  House Von Klockenshrok made to secure a place for itself near the mountain, presumably for the vast deposits of warpstone that still litter the lower depths.  Fortunately, the vampires seem to have disappeared...

The Deathmaw have been hired by the Empire and the Khazid to bolster their armies and help defend the roads of Wissenland.  Strangely, though they battle quite well and steadfastly with the forces of order, all the bodies of the beastmen, lizardmen and other unmentionables always seem to end up missing...

The High Elves have a small detachment of warriors working towards mysterious goals near the Khazid.  Though few in number, the Dawn Brigade can muster small and effective fighting forces - though neither the dwarfs nor the men of the Empire altogether trust them.

Dead Last - The Pharoah's Mace - 29 Campaign Points!

However, the most obscure and insidious threat remains the undead warriors of the Pharoah's Mace.  Sent by their undying king on a nefarious mission across the world, the tomb prince remains hidden - but has vastly increased in power.  Could it be that they achieved their mysterious goal?

---

Those are the individual standings, but that's not all!  There were also team standings!

If you fought a member of an enemy team and won, it counted as a "Team Win"!  Here are the Team results, which accurately reflect the balance between order and destruction in Wissenland!

Order Wins - 30

1. Imperial Regiments - 11 Team Wins
2. Khazid Grimaz - 9 Team Wins
3. Deathmaw Ogres - 6 Team Wins
4. Dawn Brigade - 6 Team Wins

Destruction Wins - 32

1. Ahuiateteo - 13 Team Wins
2. Herd of Fekul-Hoof - 11 Team Wins
3. House Von Klockenshrok - 9 Team Wins
4. The Pharoah's Mace - 3 Team Wins

Destruction has also won top spot with the Team Wins as well as placing very high individually!  

Wissenland just got a little bit darker - it will be harder for order factions to muster support in the coming campaigns, both RPG and Battle Games!

Thanks to our top spot winners for being the consummate warlords they are!  Jerry won a new box of Beastmen Gors, and Shawn got a new Tau Ethereal for his next Warhammer 40,000 army!

We look forward to doing more stuff like this, adding more and more prize support and awesome narratives for our continuing campaigns throughout the Old World and beyond!  

Thanks to all the players of the Wargate, including Skim - who scored our first Dead Last award!  Now that he's got a new army book, he shouldn't be attaining that dubious honor for some time!  Thanks for being a sport and helping make our club as awesome as it is! Better luck to everyone in the next campaign!

The Smith's Palladium Log (3) - Setting Sail

The harbour at Scarsdale.  What a (decimated) view.

The Smith keeps us updated weekly on the happenings in his Palladium Fantasy Campaign, currently running on Sundays at the Wargate!

This is Smith again with another update from The Dales! Our Adventures have brought us to the port town of Scarsdale. Upon arrival the party runs into an ogre pirate named Karnov. He tells them of a Warlock who destroyed his ship and was the cause of the sickness in Scarsdale. The Warlock Jareth tells them Lashan the leader (of Scarsdale) is the one responsible. The party found out the hard way pirates often lie! After some investigation (and a little revenge) the heroes find Lashan trying to flee town after a failed attempt at genocide.

After defeating Lashan the group claims Karnov's ship the Grim Tide. What will the elven Pirate LeBrac think of his ship being stolen? Karnov was Captain of the Grim Tide, but he was only part of a band of 3 pirate ships know to reside on a small island in the center of the Sea of Fallen Stars.

As we begin our next adventure our heroes make thier way back to Daggerdale to report to Randal Morn. Mango and Blackfeet are grateful for the antidotes, and have decided to return to properly thank the leader of the dales. Now word of thier deeds is spreading to Featherdale, Battledale, and further north. The people of the dales rejoice as heroes emerge from this time of chaos. The group has also made some enemies as the evil plans of Lashan, Zhentarim, and the Warkingz have been thwarted.

Join us again Sunday June 5th as we continue the adventure. The party comes home ready for thier next mission and to face what lies ahead. I will be making General Tso's Chicken, Fried Rice and maybe some homeade won-tons. Thank you to the Wargate and all the adventurers in the Palladium FRPG summer game.

Thanks to the Smith for keeping us updated!  The weekly updates are great reminders right before we jump back in, and the menu as always is going to be top notch!  We have some other interesting things planned for this Sunday, including the Awards Ceremony for Velkommen Zu Wissenland!


Make sure to be there if you plan to take part in Brave New Waaagh! as we begin the first campaign round tomorrow evening!  See you at the 'gate!

Xenos Conundrum!?

Captain Video has retired from GM'ing for a couple of months, but that doesn't mean his Rogue Trader mini-campaign wasn't cool!

Our first foray into the game was well thought out - Captain Sheen and his close assistants arrived on Hollow Rock, a space station on the fringe of Incendia Paeniteo subsector.  There, they found a terrible situation - the ancient ship that was Sheen's birthright, the Ariadni, had been left for nearly a year moored and forgotten on the space station.

The rogue trader vessel had been sealed off after the crew began to run amok.  With Vladimir Sheen dead, there was no captain to the mighty ship.  It quickly became apparent that the Ariadni would need to be dealt with, for the ship continued to cause damage to the space station as long as it remained there.  It swayed to and fro, causing damage to the hull of the base.  Not only that, but the crew had turned to crime and had caused considerable havoc on the station.

Hollow Rock didn't have the personnel to man an attack on the ship to reclaim it, so they simply sealed it off and forgot about it.  Soon, it became a city-sized area of lawlessness ruled over by gangs from different areas of the ship.  Common thugs and mutants ran the lower decks, while a group of Redemptionists presided over the still functioning plasma core.  Near the prow's gun batteries, the loyal members of the crew sealed themselves off and weathered the siege.  There they patiently awaited the arrival of a new captain...

When Oliver Sheen and his friends arrived, the ship was in shambles.  The group wasted no time making straight for the Action Station, and made short work of the commoners that barred the way.  Upon obtaining control of the ship, the characters set about making the ship operable.  The loyalists near the prow had a terrible dilemma - somehow, orks had infested the ship around the Gellar Field Generator!

With fire in their hearts and steel in their hands, the characters orchestrated the unification of the crew and the return of the Ariadni to operational levels.  Now the real task begins - drag the Ariadni across the sector and get those Profit Factors rolling!

We in space, dawg.

I think it's safe to say we'll be doing Rogue Trader again in the future!  An excellent addition to the Warhammer 40,000 Roleplay line of games, this particular game has a tone that's both epic and enterprising in scale.  Thanks to Captain Video for running his awesome game, and with any luck we'll pick this back up in a rotation or two!

Until then, get ready for the next game to start on Schedule 2 tomorrow!