Tha Newbz

The alarm was blaring.  It seemed to sound in perfect time with the throbbing headache felt by Jr. Lieutenant Kolchek.  Maybe it was the cause of his headache.  He opened his eyes and slowly looked around.  That's when the memory of the previous night came back into focus.  Today was his first day as an acting Jr. Lieutenant, he had previously been on leave for a week.  It had been his last night of freedom.  One last night with the boys.  Roon may have been a backwater planet with nothing of note for a young naval officer, but man did the cantina have some good drinks.

Jr. Lieutenant Kolchek made his way back to check in and met with his more or less sober crew.  Other than a headache that wouldn't quit and a bit of queasiness it seemed like it would be a good day.  That's when the call came in.  Security had been breached in the Omega Sector.  Reports confirmed three unidentified ships heading further into the restricted zone.  The 37th TIE Squadron, also known as Tha Newbz, had been dispatched.

"Alright gentleman, we have a protocol one procedure ahead.  Three unidentified ships have probably mistakenly passed by the Omega Checkpoint.  Hold all fire until my go and stay safe," Jr. Lieutenant Kolchek reported as he calmly piloted his new TIE Advanced.

"Affirmative," was the retort heard from the other two lance captains.

As the 37th approached the three unknowns the sensors indicated two X-Wings, and a YT-1300 were the three ships that had slipped past the checkpoint.  Nothing to worry about, just a freighter with it's escorts.

"Greetings traders, this is your friendly Imperial neighbors.  We noticed you headed in this direction and have come to ask you to turn around and proceed to the Omega Checkpoint.  You are in a restricted zone," Kolchek informed politely.

A loud and guttural sound reported back over the comm, "AagaAAggaaaghAAAgAAhhagh."

"Did anyone catch what that Wookie just said?"

Charlie Lance Captain Jenkins replied, "Uh... I know a bit of Shyriiwook.  I believe he said something about Khan Sulu and Duke Skybalker had a... uh... delivery for your mom."

"What?  Who the hell are those guys?"

"Never heard of them, sir."

"I repeat, this is a restricted area.  Please turn around now and proceed to the checkpoint."

"They just fired at us sir."

"All right boys, execute the alpha tango maneuver and stay focused."

The three lances of TIEs broke into formation with the Alpha Lance taking the lead on the port side.  Charlie Lance moved ahead on starboard and Bravo Lance, headed by the Jr. Lieutenant, moved along slowly assessing the situation.

Alpha Lance was the first to return fire with mixed results.  The fresh recruits had never actually fired at real live targets before.  Though they did remember to focus fire.  When Charlie Lance moved into position and fired they fortunately hit their target and damaged the X-Wing they were focused on.

Now the X-Wing Charlie Lance had fired on was leaking something out of it's starboard side and headed towards Bravo Lance.  Charlie Lance was told to refocus on the YT-1300 and dutifully obeyed.  Surely a bit of fire and these wayward traders would comply with the commands.  Surely they didn't want to get their ships damaged or worse get themselves killed.

Jr. Lieutenant Kolchek once again tried the comms, "Last warning, disengage from the combat and we will escort you to the checkpoint.  This is restricted air space."

Static proceeded the reply, "Yeeehaww! Die imperial scum!"  Two shots blasted into the side of the TIE Advanced knocking out the shields.  Kolchek gritted his teeth and prepared himself for battle.

The Alpha Lance pursued the X-Wing piloted by Skybalker and held their shots true.  Though the pilot seemed above average, his ship just couldn't quite take the onslaught and had to set down on the surface of the planet.  This apparently outraged whoever was piloting the YT-1300 and it broke into a fantastic display of piloting.

The remaining X-Wing had fired at the Alpha Lance knocking one of the TIE fighters out of commission.  Although it was now being pursued by the Alpha Lance.  The two TIE's left in Alpha fired like crazy and somehow managed not to hit anything.

The YT-1300 flew through the atmosphere of Roon as fast as it could straight towards Bravo Lance firing wildly and dodging many shots that seemed impossible.  It then flew past the Bravo Lance and flipped around completely ready to fire again.  By this time the Charlie Lance and Bravo Lance all had time to maneuver with clear lines of fire towards the larger ship.

The pilot of the YT-1300 fired and hit Kolchek's TIE Advanced once again and caused internal alarms to start singing.  Bravo Lance and Alpha Lance returned fire and watched as the larger ship spiraled out of control towards the ground as it made a hard landing.  The remaining X-Wing assessed the situation and proceeded to make a GTFO maneuver.

With the battle over the young pilots and their leader made note of the locations of the two downed ships and called in their coordinates.  Hopefully they would be captured by the ground forces before they could bug out.

All Jr. Lieutenant Kolchek could think about on the trip back to base was how he was probably going to get in trouble for losing a pilot.  But when he got back to base his Captain was pleased with his report and didn't seem concerned at all about the missing pilot.  A new TIE was given to the unit along with another new recruit.  Reports were coming in that more resistance was being met in all the quadrants, it looked as though Kolchek and his Newbz were going to see a lot more action.

Don't Forget My Head - A Tale of Science Friction

A few weeks ago we had a couple of sessions with Venger Satanis at the helm of his RPG game, Alpha Blue, and we were joined this time by the enigmatic "8".  This is WAAAY late due to the technical aspects of typing while wrestling all the bears and chumpkins who infest the office here these days - but we're trying to make up for lost time so prepare for a slew of new content here on the Wargate.

What follows is a session log from Roll20 of our last game with Venger, and may be disturbing for some readers.  Others will laugh at the satire and parody of the entire venture.  You can read about the first session here.

It is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, YOUR KIDS OR YOUR MOM.

Note that we at the Wargate do not condone nor advocate the use or solicitation of sex or drugs (but rock 'n roll is required).  In the end, we felt the resultant comedy was worth publishing - and are plotting a short campaign of our own.  Now, go check out Venger on Google+ if you're not familiar with his work, and Draconic Magazine here.

VS (GM Venger):  8bit, in between adventures:  You had a minor speaking part in a buddy cop movie with aliens representing minorities.  Your role was "douche-bag with laser."

Dave, in between adventures:  You were scavenging the last dregs of energy from a dying, metallic planet called Cybertron.

Space Wyndorf (Stormskull Dave):  Hell yeah!  I needed that.

Akros Sterling (8bit):  How many credits was I paid for my role?

VS (GM):  400 credits. It was a non-speaking role.

Akros Sterling:  XD  rich

VS (GM):  Dave, your character only made 100 credits.

Space Wyndorf:  See, nobody is into this Energon stuff yet...but its' gonna be a big hit in the future

VS (GM):  Yeah, around 1983.  Both of you briefly re-introduce your characters.

Space Wyndorf:  I'm Space Wyndorf, Ice Pirate and Wanted Fugitive...and this is my associate, Piney the Energon Being.

VS (GM):  Sup, Hawk! (greeting Stormskull Hawk, who is late.)  Piney, roll a d20 for me.

Akros Sterling:  Akros Sterling. The bounty hunting Dire Space Wolf-aroo!

VS (GM):  Piney, between adventures you were cruising the outer rim worlds looking for bi-sexual nymphomaniac models...Wow, you actually found some!  Good for you.  Indeed.

Space Wyndorf:  One that didn't look like your ex-wife?

Piney (Stormskull Hawk):  Indeed, one that doesn't look like my ex-wife.

VS (GM):  Ok, you guys are in your starship with a couple droids and 2 reptilian humanoids  (Silurians).

Space Wyndorf:  These guys from the last jaunt?  Whatever happened to our cargo?

Akros Sterling:  "Hmm this does not look like the movie set.  Perhaps I docked the wrong ship? Hmm"  *Rubs his chin and looks perplexed and pondering.*

VS (GM):  Yeah, you guys sold your cargo, made a bunch of credits, and joined forces with another crew.  Then half of your crew got killed.  This is what's left...

Space Wyndorf:  I just notice Sterling for the first time, as I look and try to focus through the space smoke that constantly follows me

VS (GM):  You made 1,100 credits from the ice you sold to a nearby desert planet.

Piney:  Each or total?

VS (GM):  Total.

Space Wyndorf:  hmm a desert planet. they have good [REDACTED] there?  Some people call me the [REDACTED] cowboy.

VS (GM):  The best in the galaxy.  Did you want to inhale some?

Space Wyndorf:  Well, yeah, as much as possible - but we need at least 600 creds leftover lol

Sterling: "Ice Pirate and a [REDACTED] Cowboy?  These titles are killing me.  As long as the [REDACTED] flows, we should be fine.  There are many credits to make off of [REDACTED]?"

Piney:  Space has always been sort of an Ice Pirate, honestly

VS (GM):  Space Lord, you feel incredibly fortunate... invulnerable, actually.

Space Wyndorf:  I mean that's what i call myself but here lately it's been a lot of regular piracy.  This is the time for Space Lord to DANCE!!

VS (GM):  Are you going to your starship's dance floor?

Akros Sterling:  "A pirate?  Oh is there a bounty on your head, space-man?"

Space Wyndorf:  "Probably, but it's also 4:00 somewhere."  We have a dance floor?  Hell yes!!

Akros Sterling:  (the world is a dance floor)

Space Wyndorf:  That's what I thought!

VS (GM):  The droids customized your ship while you were buying [REDACTED].

Space Wyndorf:  I thought i was on the dance floor lol but it's really the bridge.

VS (GM):  Maybe both?

Space Wyndorf:  YES.  The bridge is now a disco.  So when i go "onscreen" i can WOW people.

VS (GM):  Piney, a communication is coming through on the console.

Piney:  Disco disco bridge.  I want to be on a disco bridge.  I'll pause the music and blare up the transmission.

Space Wyndorf:  We greet them with a song.

Akros Sterling:  (nice space)

VS (GM):  Ok, you get a visual of Grabba the Butt.  He doesn't look too pleased.

Space Wyndorf:  I leanover to Piney and ask:  "Do we still owe him money or naaaaa...?"

Akros Sterling:  *Howls at the sight of Grabba*  "Arrooo!  I've seen that Grabba before!"

VS (GM):  "I need you scum to assassinate someone.  Do this for me and I'll forget about the starship you stole from me."

Space Wyndorf:  OH that was YOURS....sure. whos' dead?

Piney:  *Whispers to Space*  I don't think so. I think he's still mad you wouldn't let him grab your butt.

VS (GM):  His name is Renner.  He's a mercenary.  You can find him on Dexor Prime.

Space Wyndorf:  You want his funeral at your house or wherever we find him?

VS (GM):  "I don't want him taken alive.  Kill him on sight."

Space Wyndorf:  Should we make a trideo or something?  bring you some teeth?

Akros Sterling:  "-- well if this will keep Grabba from trying to kill us, then so be it."

VS (GM):  "A souvenir would be nice."  You see Grabba grab the butt of one of his many slaves.

Space Wyndorf:  Ok. I'll bring you his left butt cheek.

Piney:  Grabba doesn't kill his victims.  His ways are much more cruel.

Akros Sterling:  "He certainly has a way of grabbin butts.  That is all I can say about his ways"

VS (GM):  "One last thing... he occasionally travels with a known associate named Darth Facepalm.  Good luck, scumbags.  You'll need it."

Space Wyndorf:  "They told you we were crazy, didn't they?  Just one intentional murder for the ship? That's cheap.  I used to get paid 1 space rok per tooth.  Knives, pistols, rifles and bombs."

VS (GM):  What's the action?

Space Wyndorf:  Our new album, Beatsticks & Piano-Wire is out next month.

Akros Sterling:  (lol)

Space Wyndorf:  I guess we're going to promote it on Dexor Prime.

Sterling tries to navigate to Dexor Prime

VS (GM):  Is Sterling a pilot, too?

Sterling clicks buttons.  Wags tail.  Is not a pilot

Piney:  *Shoos Sterling away*  I got this sets course for Dexor Prime

Space Wyndorf:  i give Sterling a space guitar and we record a new song, Blowout to the Butts

VS (GM):  The ship's computer says, "Dexor Prime, here we come. ETA: one standard hour."

Space Wyndorf:  that's exactly enough time to write and record a song

VS (GM):  Grabba style!  Yeah, it is.

Sterling snarls at the guitar and strums it. 

Akros Sterling:  "I'm more of a singer... "  *howls*

VS (GM):  Or do something else...

Space Wyndorf:  LIKE THIS PILE OF [REDACTED]

VS (GM):  Might as well do both!

Piney:  "Just keep the Silurians away from the [REDACTED] or they'll be humping everything on Dexor Prime"

Space Wyndorf:  Grabba done called up,
about some butts!
Now we gotta run and
do up some stuff!
Oh it's tuff!
...but that's how we afford the space muff!

Sterling spends the hour howling in an off-pitch. Playing an instrument that he is not used to.

Space Wyndorf:  SOUNDS FUCKINGAMAZING.

Akros Sterling:  ^

Akros Sterling:  Sterling agrees and gains +1 friendship points with the space bard, ice pirate

VS (GM):  Besides rocking out and getting stoned on [REDACTED], not much happens between now and when you enter Dexor Prime's orbit.

You lock coordinates with this Renner dude and the ship docks next to a domed city.

Space Wyndorf:  I need to find a sonic blaster shaped like a guitar.  What's the law look like?  Are they friskin' us at the docks?

VS (GM):  The ship's computer says, "Would you like me to find a retailer selling such a device?"

Space Wyndorf:  Yes, please.

VS (GM):  Pretty light security.  This is a leisure center on a fairly tame planet.  You don't see any Federation troopers, just planetary rent-a-cops.

Space Wyndorf:  Hmm. Vibro-knife for me..but creds for a sonic blaster, hopefully.

VS (GM):  "I found one.  It's located half-a-parsec away in a store called Funky Paraphernalia."

Space Wyndorf:  I lock that in the ships' coordinate bookmark bar.

Akros Sterling:  Sterling pats his kangaroo pouch and pulls out a thermal detonator. He swaps the TD for a blaster also hidden in his pouch and checks its ammo.

Space Wyndorf:  My kinda kangaroo.

VS (GM):  You've got plenty of ammo and TDs.

Space Wyndorf:  Let's get to the guy before we find out our Renner is our runner.

Akros Sterling:  "You two ever heard of Darth Facepalm though?  He may prove troublesome"

VS (GM):  Once you exit the arrival/departure section, you find yourselves in the middle of a large party.  There must be 500 people congregating here.  You hear music, see colorful lights and people doing drugs, drinking, and occasionally having sex on the outer edges.

*Piney grabs his blaster and ammo and gets ready to rumble.*

Space Wyndorf:  Hold up, yo...

Akros Sterling:   ^

Space Wyndorf:  ...do I smell a space spliff burning?

VS (GM):  You do. And pulverized pink crystals being smoked not 10' away.

Space Wyndorf:  Do we know EXACTLY where this guy is or do we need to find out?

VS (GM):  You know that he's within 100' of you.  Most likely somewhere in this large gathering.

Space Wyndorf:  I ask the pink crystal guy if that's Frenzon, bruh

Piney:  *Whispers to Space*  Try to fit in all incognito and shit, but stay away from those crystals.  We're going to need you to be on your toes.

Space Wyndorf:  If that's Frenzon I'm gonna get some doffs for the lizards. we might need a diversion...

VS (GM):  "Originally, yeah, then I refined it with urine from a sybaxian femroid. Now, it's the space bomb, yo!"

Space Wyndorf:  I think to myself and try to remember if silurians love sybaxian method?

VS (GM):  You're quite sure they do. In fact, S'sssszzsss was just talking about getting some.

Space Wyndorf:  Trade for [REDACTED]?

VS (GM):  "Sure, why not?"

Space Wyndorf:  I got this fresh rolled from the dungheaps of whatever planet we were on

VS (GM):  Squelch?

Space Wyndorf:  Sure.

Piney:  Only the best shit comes from where the hell ever.

Space Wyndorf:  Planet Nevermind.

VS (GM):  He gives you a small laser baggie full of crushed pink crystals swimming in a green solution.  He takes your [REDACTED].

Space Wyndorf:  I break it off for the lizzies, but tell them to wait. Frenzon is a class 1 combat drug and I don't want their hearts exploding or their eyes melting

VS (GM):  What's Akros doing?

Sterling uses his bounty hunting skills to ask around and gain intel about Renner. Like what he might be doing or wearing at this event so Sterling can track him down

Space Wyndorf:  Smacktards Anonymous.

VS (GM):  No one knows him well. After several minutes, Akros finds someone who just acquired a couple girls for someone named Renner. He and the girls went into Cubicle Z-7.

Sterling scopes out the way to Cubicle Z-7.

Akros Sterling:  Any chance we have communication devices? I'd give the others info that I might have an idea where Renner may be

VS (GM):  You do have such devices and send a message. You're not sure if they received it, though.

Akros Sterling:  ^

Piney:  Did we receive it?

Akros Sterling:  (depends if you care enough to check your social media / cellphones

Space Wyndorf:  If at least one of us is, we snap to pretty quick.  Piney is usually spot-on with that.  He's usually sober

VS (GM):  Meanwhile, Space Lord and Piney are being solicited by a couple of purple-skinned courtesans from New Uranus.

Akros Sterling:  (lol)

VS (GM):  You look down and see that there's a new message from Akros.

Space Wyndorf:  We ask if they want to accompany us to a private party.  Let's show up at the apartment with these girls.

VS (GM):  Yes, they do.  The girls follow you, keeping a close eye on your drugs.

Piney:  I'll respond to the message.  "Don't forget to find out information about his friend Darth Handjob"

Space Wyndorf:  I got a plan.  We walk up to the spot, pretending to be answering the call-girl call.  But when we get there I [REDACTED] with frenzon and kick them through the door.  Eh, plan?

VS (GM):  All of you wind up in front of Cubicle Z-7 at the same time.

Piney:  Sounds like a plan to me

Akros Sterling:  is in the hall and notices the purple women. "This was not in the plan... but I am not arguing."

VS (GM):   You [REDACTED] and kick them through the door.  A human with short dark hair and an eye-patch is having sex with some green-skinned girl with tentacles.  He's got her ankles behind her ears.

Space Wyndorf:  Does he fit the description?

VS (GM):  You think he fits the description.

Space Wyndorf:  Good enough for me.

Piney:  Where are her tentacles??  Nevermind.

Space Wyndorf:  I was thinking same thing.

VS (GM):  He welcomes the girls, but then sees you guys, rolls off the bed, and goes for his blaster.  Meanwhile, a tall dark figure comes out of the closet - obviously Darth Facepalm.

Her tentacles are all over the place.

Space Wyndorf:  I dive knife first at Facepalm's face.

Piney:  I pull my blaster and get ready to deliver frontier justice on Renner.

VS (GM):  Ok, everyone roll 2d6.

VS (GM):  Holy shit!

VS (GM):  Space Lord puts a large, bloody gouge in Darth Facepalm's face.  Piney, you shoot Renner for 14 points of damage.

Akros, what were your individual rolls?

Akros Sterling:  4+5

VS (GM):  Ok...

You do 6 points of damage to... who?

Akros Sterling:  Doing a blaster shoot at the dude fucking the lady, aiming for his arse

VS (GM):  You singe his ass hairs with your blaster.

Piney:  That'll teach him

Akros Sterling:  (IKR)

VS (GM):  Renner blasts both you Piney and Akros.

Piney takes 1 point of damage.

VS (GM):  Akros takes 4 points of damage.

Now for Space Lord!  Darth Facepalm whips out his laser sword and attempts to cleave you in twain.

Space Wyndorf:  I disco spin away...argh, MY ASS!!

VS (GM):  Space Lord only takes 9 points of damage.  You got relatively lucky.  New round!  Everyone roll 2d6 - remember, once per session you can steal the spotlight in order to double your dice pool -

Space Wyndorf:  I steal a spotlight!  I now perform a short dance that ends with my vibro knife in his guts.

Space Wyndorf:  Evidently my ass hurts

VS (GM):  Sterling, you missed.

VS (GM):  Renner looks hurt bad, but he's still shooting from behind the bed he was fucking on only a minute before.

The dark zedi looks wounded but still in decent shape.  Renner aims at Piney.

Piney:  Can I steal the show on a defense?

VS (GM):  Sure, roll 2d6.

VS (GM):  You narrowly avoid his laser fire.

Piney:  I want to dematerialize and rematerialize a shot ways avoid the attack
shot.

VS (GM):  Ok, you do that. Facepalm is going for SL.

Space Wyndorf:  Energy PUNK!  OOOF...

VS (GM):  OOF is right! SL takes 17 damage. He really felt that laser sword to the ribs.

VS (GM):  You have 4 Health left.

Space Wyndorf:  Word.

VS (GM):  30 Health.  Ok, you guys can attack again.

Space Wyndorf:  seeing a laser sword through my chest is the most metal thing ever
i cut his hand off

Piney:  While I was rematerializing did I notice the amount of fuckery he is enuring?
enduring

VS (GM):  Luckily, it cauterizes your wounds as it creates them.
Dio would be proud.

Space Wyndorf:  This IS the cover of my next album, posthumous or not...seriously, his hand.

Piney:  I am switching targets to Darth Facepalm.

Space Wyndorf:  kinda woozy

VS (GM):  You miss.

VS (GM):  You did 5 points of damage to Facepalm.  He's hurt pretty bad, but not out yet.  Akros?

Akros Sterling:  .-. I need to help!! I'd try to shove Darth Facepalm away from the team but also planting a 'sticky' TD to his chest as he staggers away.

VS (GM):  He kicks the TD away from him, but a small piece of shrapnel strikes his thigh. He goes down to one knee, struggling to rip you guys a new asshole.
Sterling: (lol

VS (GM):  SL, he's coming for you!  Not good.

Space Wyndorf:  Doom...it's not a party until someone explodes

Piney:  Bro. I think you just got rolled up and smoked

Space Wyndorf:  LOL

VS (GM):  His laser sword comes down on you hard. He's severed your arm and swung around and decapitated you.

Renner's turn.

Space Wyndorf:  My head exhales the biggest puff of space spliff smoke ever. but my shades don't fall off.

Akros Sterling:  (lol)

VS (GM):  Sterling, you take 9 points of damage. You also started with 30.

Akros Sterling:  12 should be my remaining hp i think.

VS (GM):  Ok.  You guys (remaining) can attack.  They're both down to single digits.

Akros Sterling:  [goes dire wolf-kangroo mode and tries to bite Darth's face off.]  In my rage, I'd like some sort of bonus, stealing the show?

VS (GM):  Ok, sure.

Akros Sterling:  (trying hard to avenge space's death.)

VS (GM):  Wow...

Akros Sterling:  *Continues to roll ridiculous numbers*

Space Wyndorf:  I'm totally inspiring.

Akros Sterling:  o3o

VS (GM):  And another 2d6.

Akros Sterling:  rolling 2d6

Space Wyndorf:  BRUH

Akros Sterling:  IKR - Don't kill my friends.

Piney:  Where was all this anger last round??

VS (GM):  Shit, that was actually too much damage to add up (lazy GM).

Akros Sterling:  XD no one died last round!

VS (GM):  Indeed.  Indeed.  True.

Piney:  I guess I'll try to finish off Renner.  Darth looks pretty well done

Akros Sterling:  39 total damage.  Bruh...just bit his head off.

VS (GM):  Ok, whatever blaster fire was left over finished off Renner and some guy back in the party who looked at you funny and demanded you buy him a drink.

Piney:  Rabid Kangaroo saves the day!

Space Wyndorf:  Awww Yisss!

VS (GM):  There's a chance that SL can be put back together if there's a space surgeon at the party.

Piney:  But would his love for space spliffs remain?

Space Wyndorf:  Just stick my head back on it will be fine.

VS (GM):  I'm sure it would.

Piney:  Indeed. It's only a flesh wound.

Space Wyndorf:  Don't forget my arm! I need that to shred my space guitar

Piney:  Right. Your arm. You're going to need to...

VS (GM):  Are you guys asking around for a space doctor or something?

Space Wyndorf:  Now i'm a voice in Piney's head

Piney:  Indeed

Akros Sterling:  (we must rebuild space pirate with a robot/cyborg body)

VS (GM):  Ok, you find a medical officer.

Akros Sterling:  (with [REDACTED]/drug dispencser
(and music machine built in

Space Wyndorf:  Even robotocop had lungs and a brain

VS (GM):  SL, do you want me to roll 2d6 or do you want to?

Space Wyndorf:  Hehe you can

VS (GM):  Your life depends on the results.

Space Wyndorf:  I roll 1's

Akros Sterling:  ^

Space Wyndorf:  All the time

VS (GM):   Ok, he's able to keep you alive - but you're going to need some spare parts.  Welcome to cyborg land, Space Lord.

*Sterling cries and howls.  Wipes tears with the back of his hand that holds a blaster.*

VS (GM):  You have a synthetic (artificial flesh) right arm...

Space Wyndorf:  I always wanted to be a cyborg

Akros Sterling:  "I dont like many humans but you are not so bad. Im glad that you are still alive.

Piney:  Right. now it'll till feel the same when you

Space Wyndorf:  I write a song called Skinflute by Synthflesh in the hospital

VS (GM):  And he was able to re-attach your head with a little bit of space salve.  Did you take a souvenir?  Besides near death?

Space Wyndorf:  I was having an out of body experience at the time.

VS (GM):  Did anyone else?

Piney:  Well of course we snatched that sword up.

VS (GM):  Ok, good.  Now, you have a laser sword.

Space Wyndorf:  Laserman wth laserblades!  I produce Piney's first spoken word album.

VS (GM):  Combined they had 600 credits on them.  You guys made it to 3rd level.  Hooray!  That's game.

Space Wyndorf:  I make sure Grabba sees my scars and new arm

Piney:  Some people call him the [REDACTED] Cowboy.  Some call him the pirate of ice. Some people call him headless.  Cause he got it fucking cut off

VS (GM):  Wow.  That could actually be a song.

"That's not even HIS blood."

Why Game?

"I just flew in from the Chaos Lands and BOY!  Are my arms tired."
 - Stormskull Hawk, upon reaching the Tower of Night.

The real question here is “Why not game”?  Although gaming has become more main stream in modern times it is, by far, not a new hobby.  Dating as far back as 3500 B.C. Ancient Egyptians were enjoying games of Senet, a game which would later become Chess.  Proof of this was depicted in a painting from the tomb of Merknera who lived from approximately 3300 to 2700 B.C.

In ancient times these game would most likely have been played exclusively by royalty.   In modern times games are more accessible to the everyday person.  In simpler terms, everyone can afford to buy a game.

So what are the drawbacks that keep us from enjoying our hobby?  The most common complaint seems to be time.  We have so much hustle and bustle in our daily lives sometimes we just can’t find the time to relax and enjoy a good game.  Ancient peoples would have had the same dilemma, of course.

Where do you find the time to game there are wars to be planned and fought?  When you need to hunt for the days kill to feed your family or even your village?  It seems logical that ancient people would have also had very little time for a relaxing game.  Games would have been nothing more than a way to pass time when you were idle.

In our modern times we have more conveniences that make our lives easier.  Sure we have jobs we need to do, families to care for, but we also have more idle time then people who existed before us had.  We tend to use our idle time as a way to relax and drift in to our “me” time.  Sure, we would love to pick up a game and play it, but this idle time is for us to relax because we are tired.  We thrust our passions aside in the name of having just a few moments to ourselves.

Eventually this becomes our routine and gaming gets pushed to the side because we just don’t have the time.  If this is our passion then why can we not find the time?  If we want to game then why does the universe seem to forbid it?  The answer is crystal clear.  The reason we cannot find the time to game is because we spend more time making excuses for why we cannot game then we do making the time to game.  We are all guilty of this at some point, but this is our passion.

This is an open letter to all gamers, no matter what your genre of gaming may be.  We spend all day doing the same mundane tasks over and over.  We have bosses to please, wives or husbands to please, children to please.  We are tired.  We want to rest.  We want “me” time.

Gaming is our passion, we are gamers and nothing is more relaxing than a good game to end the day.  Games bring people together.  Families enjoy playing together as do friends.  Even strangers can sit and play a good relaxing game together.

It is up to all of us to embrace our passion and make the time to enjoy our hobby.  At the end of the long and mundane day noble gamer, how will YOU spend your time?  Idle or enjoying your hobby?

FORCE DOCK!!

Yesterday Hawk and I scored an opportunity to sit with the esteemed Venger Satanis of Kor'thalis Publishing at the helm of his Alpha Blue game on Roll20.  Hilarity ensued, and we had a blast.

Don't wait to hear what the malcontents and haters have to say, check it out for yourself.


Take Space Lord's hand and visit Venger's Old School Gaming Blog, reblogged below.  Also, check out Draconic Magazine and Kor'thalis Publishing's new Kickstarter campaign and show some support for the indie scene.

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Venger's old school gaming blog: FORCE DOCK - Alpha Blue actual play report: Another week, another Alpha Blue game on Roll20. I both like and dislike (love and hate are too strong of words for the platform)

A Workshop of Games You Say? Poppycock.

Greetings you fantastic people!  Today is a day long overdue.  We here at the Gate have touched on this subject briefly in the past, but now feel it is time for full disclosure.  Games Workshop.  There I said it.  It has been the 400 lb. gorilla in the room for a few years now.

Many of you already know that our gaming club used to eat, drink, breathe, and bathe in GW fandom.  It's true.  Most of our members are well versed in the ancient lore of the 40K and Fantasy settings.  Also included were the Lord of the Rings, Necromunda, and Mordheim.  We even did the role-play, Dark Heresy, Rogue Trader, Deathwatch, and Warhammer Fantasy Role Play. We read all the articles published, bought the magazines, followed the games through many editions, and bought almost every model we could get our hands on.

We loved us some GW.  Man o' man, it was a glorious time.  We never had to want for battle.  We had many great campaigns and traversed the universes created by ol' GW.  They had treated us well, gave us many different options from which to choose; along with solid story lines to follow and to partake.  There was support to the gaming stores we frequented and the worldwide campaigns were epic.  Somewhere along the way though, the company lost it's soul (or sold it).

For a long time we were blinded to the diminished importance of the rules that governed these games.  We made sure to stay relevant and buy the new editions, which were increasing in price.  Along with the main rule books we had to buy new army books.  We didn't mind.  We loved the feeling of new.  Then the editions would change again before there was a complete set of books per edition.  Still we played on using the older armies books until the new one could be bought.  We still played and had some good times and all seemed well.  Surely GW would finally put out a complete set.

Sometime before the release of the sixth edition of 40K the care that went into the game seemed to disappear entirely.  I remember playing it against one of the members of the Wargate, him with his Chaos Space Marines and I with my Imperial Guard.  I had scads of guardsmen with troop transports and tanks galore.  He had three troops of space marines and three squads of heavy support called obliterators.  The obliterators weren't new to the game but the rules for them had changed just a bit.  Normally you could only carry one squad of up to three, but that rule was no more.  So, it was my entire army against his three squads of three.  Those nine obliterators destroyed everything I had while his troops of space marines hid in bunkers.

I know not everyone reading this will understand why that change in the rules matters, so I'll just say that the obliterators are extremely hard to remove from play.  Not only that, they carry all the heavy weapons.  I had what amounted to thirteen tanks and over one hundred soldiers demolished in almost every game I played against him while he would lose maybe one or two obliterators.

I tell that story to say that we here at the Wargate love balanced rules and balanced game design. It's kind of our thing.  What in points was supposed to be equal clearly didn't show through in the game play.  It became a challenge to all of us to defeat this perfectly legal by the rules army.  We only accomplished the feat a few times out of all the times that particular army was on the table and that was by the technicality of the scenario.  Never by annihilation.

Some may wonder if we are being unfair and using this one flaw in the rules to bash on GW.  That isn't the case though.  There were other game mechanic problems in 40K and Warhammer Fantasy Battles that we tried so hard to ignore.  For the most part we did.  We had faith in our old friend Games Workshop.  You would think that being the giant that they are they could get their game rules in order. It was keeping up with the increasing prices that eventually made us stop and look carefully at what GW was doing.

The realization was terrible.  The modus operandi of Games Workshop had changed.  I understand they are a business and want to make money.  I get that, I really do.  We just happen to be big sticklers when it comes to rules and fairness.  If your company is the industry giant then shouldn't your games be spot on in every way possible?  The need for money outweighed the priority of making a top quality product.  We noticed.  They no longer cared if their game worked properly.

What it basically boiled down to was the fact that the designers of these games were told to push priority towards new expensive units.  These new units ended up getting special rules to help move product from the warehouse and to hell with the fairness of the rules.  A pay to win system was developed under the guise of a new rule set.  Moneyhammer was born.

That fact alone was enough for some in our group to not want to play GW games anymore.  We were loyal customers that followed them for years because of the games they produced not just the spiffy models.  We had always looked for an excuse to buy something new from them and most of the time didn't even need an excuse.  We loved their products.  We loved them because of the games and the stories we created using them.  If they no longer cared how could we?

It became a betrayal to their own fan base.  A betrayal to us.  We chose to wait a while and see if they would come to their senses.  We waited and waited.  It became clear that the only thing changing was the story line with Warhammer Fantasy Battles.  They ended the world in the setting we played in for so long.  Yet another stab into our already bleeding backs.  Now we feel alienated from the games we used to love.

When they stopped caring about the players around countless tables across the world playing their game, they cheated themselves and us.  Never again will they have the opportunity they had.  They have become a joke.  There are those that will say, "It's just a game."  For a lot of people though it is a time of coming together and enjoyment with close friends and family where stories are told through the constant struggles in a grim universe.  It's a shame that they don't concern themselves with the community of gamers anymore.

The only concern for them now is the bottom line.  How much money can they bilk out of those still loyal to the "stories" being told?  How much can they charge for fewer and fewer models per box?  How long can they honestly keep the hype up?  How can they justify not play-testing the games they sell enough to work out the kinks?  Where does the community of gamers fit into Games Workshops future?  Only time will tell.

They took something away from us.  Something greater than the games we played.  A sense of community.  That is what was lost.  We were part of that community, but no more.  No longer do we play in their universes.  No longer do we buy their products (luckily, they got even more expensive).  No longer do we paint their models. We no longer feel welcome to Games Workshops table.  We no longer support the machinations of Games Workshop.

Yeah sure it was a tough break up for the Wargate, but it was a healthy one.  Sometimes you just have to leave an abusive partner.  Now we only invest ourselves in games that have complete rules and competent writers.  We prefer game companies that want to foster community with those that play their games.

So, here we are.  Looking to the future.  Which is actually pretty bright.  We look forward to the years to come with a sigh of relief and a much clearer focus than ever before.  More news on that coming soon.  Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed the post (or hated it) give it a Bone Up and leave a comment.  We'd love to hear from you.

The Journal of Alfrederic Elmer Carlyle Bartholomew Desdemona III

A recap of all sessions including #7, recorded 05/01 to 7/10/2016.

Journal Entries

Well, I suppose it's time to start a meaningful journal of my travels.  Perhaps if I make it through all this nonsense I can use this as a warning to myself to not get into the entertainment business ever again.  Where to begin?

I suppose it all started when I met an individual by the name of Hogan Savage.  I should say the Professional Wrestler Hogan Savage.  Though not very professional, he is very entertaining. Through a series of what may ultimately be unfortunate events I deemed myself the manager of the “Wrassler,” to help him spread the word of Kord.


At least, that is my story.  Many others joined our venture and we decided to move town to town to promote the word of Kord.  If only things had gone as planned I may have been writing a success story of a lucky wizard that rode the fame of another to untold riches, though who knows?  Time will tell.

Our ill luck struck just as we were approaching the town of Greenest.  We happened upon a group of kobolds - terrible little creatures.  My allies seemed perturbed by whatever it was the little buggers were doing so they set to work fixing that mess.  I remember Hogan yelling something about Kord and kicking one of the small things so hard he killed it.  It was rather funny.

About that time, we noticed a dragon.  A blue dragon.  Quite beautiful. T hen I kind of haze out exactly what transpired next.  It was something about taking some villagers to the keep.  Though I don't understand why they wanted to go there.  The place was being attacked.

When we finally arrived at the keep things had settled down and I believe the dragon was gone as well.  At the keep, people were upset because someone had been kidnapped.  So, of course a few of the bleeding hearts in our little troupe decided we could help out the town and save whoever was missing.  Cry me a river.  Alas, we went anyway. I mean they did offer a nice sum of gold.

We followed the easily found trail of what appeared to be an army to their campsite.  Someone in our group found some cloaks that the towns attackers had been wearing so we could sneak in with a pretense of bringing a prisoner or two.  Luckily it worked - I was afraid I was going to have to abandon my new profession so soon.  The kidnapped person was soon found and we all left without too much of an incident so we traveled back to Greenest to collect our loot.

At the town we put on a show for the beleaguered residents and rested for a bit.  It was nice, but of course things always come up.  Someone then asked us to retrieve some dragon eggs from the encampment that we had just left.  Seriously, sometimes I wonder if people even think about efficiency.  It would have made much more sense to collect them when we were there the first time.

So, of course the helpful little people in our troupe, Shirley Lee and Teagan, agreed to help.  On our way there when we had bedded down for the night I got to witness something fun.  A hill giant happened upon us while we were sleeping.  By some gods good grace, our watch saw before he got too close.  That is when I saw the sign of coin...if we could successfully capture the giant, we could go town to town and have people pay us to watch Mr. Savage wrestle a real live hill giant.  Oh the possibilities.

It was truly great to witness Hogan bravely, perhaps stupidly, tell us to stay back as he charged the giant.  Everyone looked to me as if to ask, “Should we stay back?” I laugh now, I may have even laughed then when I said, “I want to see this.”  Then Hogan got hit.

It was bad, but he kept his feet.  Tough mouth-breather that he is he just kept on fighting.  He even disarmed that poor old giant.  It was a great memory.  We did kill it though.

We finally arrived at what I now know was a dragon cultist campsite and decided to try a different approach.  Talk to the guys outside and see if the dragon eggs are there.  Kuklak and Hogan decided to do the talking.  It almost went poorly, but luckily Hogan challenged two of the guards to a “Wrasslin'” match.  He took on two of them and won.  Though he didn't keep the gold.  I need to talk to him about this for future sake.

Afterwards, the guards didn't seem as on edge and Hogan found out the eggs were still in the cave.  Instead of us all going in it was decided that we would send the sneakiest amongst us into the cave after I turned them invisible.  Funnily enough it seemed Hogan could sneak the best even though you would never guess it by looking at him.  We also turned Teagans familiar invisible and sent it flying into the cave complex to map it out.  It was a bit boring waiting until all of that transpired, but Hogan returned with the eggs and I didn't lose my cash cow.  It was a delightfully successful mission.

Afterwards we headed back to Greenest only to find out that the person that wanted the eggs wasn't even there.  I really need to write a book on social etiquette when it pertains to dangerous business deals.  We found out we would need to travel all the way to Elturel just to get our money.

I was half tempted to just sell the eggs myself.  I'm sure they're worth more than what we were going to get.  Of course I couldn't do that though, people were watching.  Yet again we ventured on towards Eltruel with the eggs in tow.  That is when we started noticing boar tracks.  Big boar tracks.  I even saw the boar once, it was almost the size of a cow.

During one of the nights we were resting, a lone orc charged into our camp and began to attack.  We quickly set to work dispatching him and finally he yelled at me, “I'll get you one of these days Roland!”

I was at an utter loss - my name isn't Roland.  I don't even know a Roland.  As he was about to run away, Shirley killed him and I could ask no more questions.  He did have a magic sword on him though.  Shirley kept that.  Teagan kept the spear the orc carried as well.  It was made of silver.  I'm glad she did.

The next day in our journey, we ran across a lone individual coming from Eltruel who happened to be named Roland.  Kuklak didn't like the cut of his jib, but I didn't see any reason we should attack him.  I mean there were a lot of us and one of him.  He traveled on as did we.

That night while at camp, we were attacked again.  What is it with this group?  I mean, really?  Anyway, now the truth was known.  It was Roland.  He is or rather was a Were-Boar.  This was too much, I finally couldn't take it.

I refrain from using spells willy-nilly, but this was deemed necessary.  I was trying to sleep afterall.  My sleep is precious to me.  I need it.  I love it.  I unleashed my fury on him.  We all did.  He died pretty quick.

Afterward, I cast detect magic and found out his ring and cloak were magic.  I didn't care for the cloak though, I just wanted the ring.  It is a ring of protection.  It's wonderful.

Yesterday we rolled into town and found whoever we were looking for and got our cash for those damned eggs.  So now we sit in the town of Eltruel.  Hopefully things will go much better in the future.  

The Next Evolution of Our Club

Stormskull Dave has Stormskull things
to say to your Stormskull tookis.

Greetings, folks!

You might have been wondering (or not) where we've been these past weeks.  Like always, we've been hard at work putting things together for you - this time with more of an eye on the future.  Well, the battles grind on...but we're taking a moment to assess ourselves and make improvements.

All games clubs evolve.  Over time, you can find yourself doing things you never thought of just because that's the way things are going.  We've been comfortable with the format of things for a while, as a club.  Yet, the shifts have been both sudden and subtle over the last few years.  Now that the dynamics of and around our tables have changed.

We have more folks on Game Day than any of the game stores around us seem to have at any one time, and are far more involved in the gaming as an entity.  We're a private club - we don't have a storefront (but we do have an eBay) and space is limited - but everyone invited is made to feel like family.  The finance plan of the club has also changed, and the Project Assessment Committee is helping us move forward in a great many ways.  So many, in fact - we've been preparing for weeks on the back-end without many articles.  This is a cardinal sin on our part.





We'll be changing venues as planned in a few weeks, and several changes will occur.  More on these later.  Suffice it to say that for the last three or four years we've been experimenting with a few different options for going forward, and we'll be rolling out more news on this in July and August.  During that time, you may notice strange things happening with the site.  Don't be alarmed, this is just us fiddling with the web.  Things will be back to normal soon - in fact, better than normal.

More importantly, I have another announcement.

Our good buddy and coordinator Skim has stepped up to help out with content and is now co-author on this blog and moderator across the Wargate's social media.   In addition, check out his new blog, where he'll be talking about the meta of gaming.  I look forward to seeing his thoughts on the state of our hobby, industry and other facets of gamer life.

Skim is most certainly a welcome addition to the web-team, he and I have been friends for longer than I can really remember.  It's been at least twenty, and one of the first solid players back in the dimly remembered days of high school.  He's been a frequent co-conspirator over the years and is a big fan of miniature wargames.  We're sure to see a lot of cool stuff from this new level of collaboration, and I for one am very excited.

A new and improved network map will be available this week.  Original images by our art team will replace many on the site as well, so look for a total restructure of this blog and it's nature.  Thanks to everyone on the PAC, and to Skim for helping make it happen.

Now, back to work on the next phase of interdimensional war...

Hoard of the Dragon Queen (Sessions 4, 5 & 6)

These sessions were originally recorded 05/29, 06/05, and 06/12/2016.

You're Too Fat to Wrestle Me
As told by Hogan Savage, Professional Wrestler

After the whole ordeal in the woods, we went back to the town (I don't remember what it was called) and rested a few days.  I felt much better after a crowd gathered and heard the word of Kord.  I felt the power of Kord-a-mania!

We went back out into the woods (I'm not sure why) but found some more cultists.  They weren't good at playing fair, so we tied the survivor to a tree and left him there.  I tell you what, brother...Kord was with us that night, because a scalawag of a hill giant crept up on us as we slept.  Good thing the watch saw him, and I wrestled a hill giant.  Word.

I'm not really sure what happened, but another night we were attacked by cultists.  We made them regret their decision and interrogated the survivor, but he was mad.  I don't remember what happened to him.

At some point we were told to retrieve some dragon eggs from back at the cultist camp.  So we went back, and Miss Teagan had her dragon scout the encampment.  Not really sure what happened, but got a chance to wrestle some of the guards!  It was all good though - good chaps, really.  They were kinda fat, and I gave them some calisthenics protips.  Then they told me where the army went and where the dragon eggs were.  I let them keep the gold I won from them, just to brighten their day.

Teagan had her little dragon look inside the cave, but everyone was mad at me for some reason.  She said there was a dragon lady and some other guys inside, but not that many.  I'm not sure what the problem was, but they told me it was a bad idea to go talk to her.  I waited a bit, doing jumping jacks in the camp...then they told me they were going to turn me invisible and I had to go get the dragon eggs.  I'm not sure who suggested that - it might have been me.  Well?!  I'm the guy for that kinda job!

I went inside and grabbed the eggs.  No one saw me, but I heard something move once.  Then I left with the eggs.  The others were waiting outside the cave, so I surprised one of the guys with an invisible hug!  He was surprised, but I wasn't invisible anymore.  Then, we said bye to the guards and left.

Frostgrave Campaign Rules Update

Greetings, folks!

Since our campaign began for Thaw of the Lich Lord, we've found that Frostgrave is a very tight ruleset.  Indeed, each rules question we ran across has been answered in the Errata & FAQ from Osprey Wargames.  We've been playing the game according to the rules as written in the main Rulebook, and there hasn't really been an issue we've seen to cause a problem save one.  Namely, permanent wizard death.

It wouldn't be an issue in an open or long-term campaign, but we've traditionally ran timed campaigns and tracked individual player win / loss records.  It causes an issue when your wizard dies if we're keeping track of certain information (like experience points).  If you're reset to 0 in certain respects, how can you manage to make it up before the end of the campaign?

We decided not to subject anyone else to a 0-sum after I suffered as the club guinea pig for having their wizard killed (R.I.P. Arzoz Maurz, Most Annoying Illusionist).  After casting around on the internet looking to see if anyone else had come to this conclusion, we quickly found that we were not alone.  After examining a few of the rulesets, we've decided to integrate the popular JustPlay Frostgrave Rules Changes wholesale, both Recommended and Optional.  This cleans up all the questions we had very nicely, including giving us a nice structure for the Out-of-Game turns as well.

In addition to these changes, we're adding several official Frostgrave expansions to the ol' chopping block this season:  Sellsword, Dark Alchemy and Hunt for the Golem.  Consider these expansions to be legal in any Wargate campaign where one of the scenarios is listed.  For our current game, these are all legal as of now - including the ability to include Captains in your lists.  Now you can finally make use of that section of the wizard sheet!

As for the smaller campaigns, Dark Alchemy and Hunt for the Golem, the scenarios take their place in the current order as shown on the Frostgrave campaign page.  In addition, Dark Alchemy replaces the potion rules immediately.  The campaigns can generally be undertaken by players as they wish, any limits will be denoted in the season's own campaign rules.

Lots of folks are frothing at the mouth for Frostgrave around these parts!  We'll see a large campaign update this weekend as new combatants enter the fray.  I wonder what level we'll end the season around?  Get your wizard leveled now, and we'll see you on Game Day!

The Wargate Project Assessment Committee

Greetings, Gatekeepers!

We're back at the helm after our extended absence from the blog, but casual readers won't know what we've been up to.  What could possibly demand our attention so much that we neglect our blog?!  Blasphemers!

Well, I'd like to tell you about that today.  Of course, some things are still under wraps (and you won't even get a hint) but overall, the organization of the club has had a fundamental change in the last month.

We have begun a new initiative to engage our members and restore participation levels across the board.  Participation?  What, man...like, no one's playing or what?

Would that it were so simple.

We've been droning on about the collective for a while now.  Now that the entire process is finished and we've seen the interesting dynamics the collective brings to the games, it's time to give more agency about things back to the players.  To that end, I have appointed a Project Assessment Committee from those members who are interested, motivated and invested in the Wargate.

The Committee has been given the resources and authority to aid the Project Coordinator with making decisions for the club.  This includes just about everything a club needs to have a stronger voice in to make the best moves.  From managing the budget, organizing Hobby Days and Events, dealing with member conflict resolution, and helping decide what games are on the table each season, the Committee itself is an important resource to the Wargate.

We have created a private forum for the members of the Committee to communicate easily throughout the week to resolve any issues between Game Days.  The Project Assessment Committee (PAC for short) also has access to the club's inner workings in the form of access to a Google Sheet that contains all the information from the club's spreadsheets that was previously only on the Wargate's computer, meaning they can access any and (almost) all relevant club information any time they desire.

There are currently ten members of the PAC, not including myself.  Some have special appointments and duties, others are voting members and contributors.  All of them have been critical to the club's existence in one way or another, before ever having been appointed to the PAC.  Now, they have the tools and authority to initiate projects, or vote to block them - whatever they believe is best for the club.

On Game Day this weekend, we will be conducting our first focus group survey in four years, the results of which will be posted after the surveys are collated and the information discussed by the Committee.  Afterwards, we'll have a clear plan for 2017 and going forward.  The PAC has already started planning for club events, and some are scheduled for later this year.

Thanks to everyone who's still around, and BIG thanks to the Project Assessment Committee for volunteering to listen to my crazy internet-based chatter while we plan the club's activities.  It's a good feeling to work together, and it makes me more confident that we now have a stronger voice for what the club itself wants.  2016 has been a resurgent year for us so far, and going forward I have no doubt that the PAC is going to be a critical component of our organization.

See you on Game Day!

Hoard of the Dragon Queen (Sessions 1, 2 & 3)

These sessions were originally recorded 05/01, 05/08, and 05/15/2016.

Greenest in Flames
As told by Hogan Savage, Professional Wrestler

"It's time to get down, brother!!

Here we were, minding our own business...when suddenly a ton of kobolds become a problem.  Turned out that the town we were coming into, Greenest, had a bit of a dragon problem, too.  Rough.

So I did what any respectable wrestler would do - I hid in the bushes until one of them came close enough for me to get.  After a few punts, and the others doing their work, we managed to get some of the frantic townsfolk to talk to us.  All they wanted to do was go to the keep.

We had to rough some fellas up who were trying to break in though a drain pipe.  Enough is enough, brother!  We took the important looking one to the ... magistrate, or whatever he was.

I tried to get them to see the light of Kord, brother...but they were worried about the dragon taking out their mill or something.  After some consideration (and some rest) we agreed to find out what was going on with the raiders - turns out, they were dragon-worshipping scumbags!

Now, everyone knows bad dragons have to go.  

Turns out some guy was kidnapped, and we had been charged with finding him.  I don't really remember his name, but he was some kinda monk.  Found some cultists in the woods, hid in the bushes again.  Some of the others stripped them and put on their silly gear - not THIS Kord-amaniac!  
We followed the directions the kobolds gave us after I applied the Iron Claw.  We were led to a small camp, and figured our guy was inside.  The ladies dressed me as a prisoner, and we got in.  Have to remember to let the ladies do the talking.

I sat with the prisoners until no one was looking, then snapped those silly chains.  Kord's the power, brother - you best get you some!  The ladies and the others wandered around the camp, and the cultists were too stupid to figure it out.  Eventually, they came back with our guy, the monk - and all the other prisoners and I began to climb out of the gully.

I didn't even get to test out my moonsault!"

No Oath, No Spell Chronicle Log

The Wargate Presents

No Oath, No Spell

A World of Darkness Chronicle

Season 1, 2016

Little beast, 
are you wild as me?
Left some teeth in your enemies...

We won't be broken,
there's no curse we haven't spoken...

There is no oath,
there is no spell...
to deliver us, to make us well...

- Murder by Death

Winter, 1875

Smokefall Ridge, The Indian Territory

Weeks have passed for our intrepid pioneers.  The Dread that hung over the settlements has been dispelled, and the horrific events in the town nearby have earned that place the moniker "Hell Bend".  No one goes out there anymore.

Now the land of the southern Territory are plagued by tales of supernatural outlaws and worse.  Strange incidents have definitely slacked off in frequency, but the tales of the place persist even in the larger world.  In Ft. Grant, people speak in hushed whispers of a whole town purged of devil worshipers.

Yet people ARE coming to Smokefall!  The tiny town has had a bit of a resurgence, and our characters have found themselves in important functionary positions.  Now that people are coming to Smokefall, another set of problems emerges.  All those people have to be dealt with and integrated into the community.

Even with more hands helping, the crucible of the frontier is not done with the settlers.  Life is harsh, and there is competition.  Will Smokefall Ridge find a way to solidify itself as an incorporated entity?  If so, will the legacy of the settlers stand the test of time...or will the coming years blow away all the characters have built like so much dust in the wind?

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No Oath, No Spell is a World of Darkness chronicle set in The Indian Territory.  This chronicle contains the final stories for Smokefall Ridge in our current arc.  This is exciting, as our first installment (The Rough Edge of Night) finished up over four years ago!

Smokefall Ridge and the final state we leave it in will have an effect on our other World of Darkness chronicles going forward.  We have begun to show how two of our settings in particular are interconnected, the Indian Territory and South-by-Southwest.  Dead Man's Hand this season will also affect Smokefall Ridge, so actions in both games this season could potentially affect characters, backgrounds and settings for years to come!  This chronicle, and this season in general, will be a legendary time in our World of Darkness.

Also, this is the first season of 2016, which means it's also the first of a new slew of four-month project seasons!  Bear that in mind, settlers - and good luck to you.  If you can make it, Smokefall Ridge will as well.

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Current Player Characters

• "Doc" Jameson
• A man of science, looking for the truth.
• Ignacio Madera
• The sheriff of Smokefall Ridge and proprietor of Twin Pines Fine Horse Mall.
• Don Juan Ortega
• Mayor of the township of Smokefall Ridge, Don Juan is focused on the town's sustainability.
• Rusty Shackleford
• The former mountain man decided to give "civilization" a go and try his luck in the settlements.
• Josephine Maxwell
• A journalist sent to Smokefall to investigate the strange happenings, she intends to find a big story here in the Territory.
• Jakey Wales
• Life has changed a great deal for Jakey since coming to Smokefall.
• Caleb Tinker
• The town's gunsmith returns after a few weeks worth of introspection on the mountain.  Smokefall is looking pretty rough to him...
• Arthur Littlehawk
• A native hunter who lives at nearby Snake Valley, he recently befriended the folks at Smokefall Ridge.
• Doctor Anya
• An educated lady from back east, her medical skills have helped the settlement immensely.
• Preacher
• A new pastor has arrived to take over the services from Don Juan.
• Johnny Chu
• Smokefall gets it's first taste of Chinese cuisine from this immigrant cook.

Deceased Player Characters

• None (Yet...)

Disbanded Player Characters

• None (Yet...)

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Chronicle Log
Total Game Time: 49 hrs

Life Outside
(01.03.16 to 01.31.16)
Total Session Time: 23 hrs

The characters make lives for themselves in Smokefall, and deal with the day to day dramas of life.

• Session 1, 2 & 3 (01.03.16, 01.10.16 and 01.17.16)
• Session 4 (01.24.16)
• Session 5 & 6 (01.31.16 and 02.07.16)

Your standard Western fare has occurred, and besides the bandits and hooliganry there are stranger things afoot.  The best part is that there is now a Chinese restaurant in Smokefall and people love it.

Stones in Dream, Stone in Wood
(02.21.16 to 04.24.16)
Total Session Time: 26 hrs

The woods and wilds around Smokefall begin to reveal a secret that could change the course of history for the Indian Territory.

• Session 7 (02.21.16)
• Session 8 (02.28.16)
• Session 9, 10 & 11 (03.20.16, 03.27.16, 04.03.16)
• Session 12 (04.10.16)
• Session 13 (04.17.16)
• Session 14 (04.24.16)

It seems that the mystical strangeness of the Territory will continue unabated by man's interference.  Some sense of stability has come to Smokefall at last - but what new challenges does having so many...strange individuals in one place bring upon the intrepid pioneers?

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Campaign Resolution

For the most part, the land has been preserved.  It will be so for the foreseeable future, as far as the residents of Smokefall Ridge are concerned.  The area once simply called "the settlements" is now being threatened with the very bane of the pioneer lifestyle - government regulation.

Yet the town is growning, even at a faster rate than the arguably better constructed (and prettier) Primrose.  Moreover, the mysterious Media Movement folk connected with Ms. Holmes and her peculiar friends bring a stability to the settlement that was never there before.  Several new businesses, funded by the City Council and the Media Movement, are erected and are prospering in the burgeoning trade of the Territory.

Progress has come to Smokefall Ridge.  It's set to become a trade hub of the region, superseding Andersen's Hill in that respect.  It's good for the town, but the Territory is still a dangerous area.  The characters in this chronicle have set the foundation for the future of the Southwest, but what threats will rear their ugly heads in the future?

In time, it will fall to other folks to step up and face those challenges - whatever they may be.  Though we do not know the exact ultimate fates of the player characters yet, the Smokefall Ridge City Council and Community Development Committee have the administration and development of their growing town to deal with.  They have been entered into the Honor Roll of the Wargate for their role in combating the powerful spiritual forces gathered in the Territory.  Undoubtedly, we will hear from them again - eventually learning what exactly becomes of them as time unfolds.

We cannot divine their fates just now, as we must look to the others who are yet to come that will make their mark on the coming world.  A world that waits more than a century away...and a great deal can happen in such a long span of time.

The Lodge of Dusk at Silver Lake, Near Smokefall Ridge
April 19th, 1878

The inside of the Lodge of Dusk was very impressive, especially to those who were unfamiliar with the ingenuity of the native tribes.  The strange, dark wood that made up the structure was something most people had never seen before...and it's origin wholly unknown.  Yet that was par for course here, as so many things took on qualities of the strange.  Such things as the low, slow drumming inside was like the sound of a pounding pulse inside your skull - it wasn't loud, but it could not be ignored.  The burning sage was there as well, cloying the senses in a manner that was wholly of the strange.

Lisa Holmes stood facing Five Stones and White Hawk.  The City Council was with her, as were the members of her cabal.  She held the child in her arms, and Jakey Wales stood beside her.  Still, her emotions were running rampant...and she struggled to maintain her calm.  Jakey put his hand on her shoulder to offer support, but she couldn't lift her gaze from her baby's face.   

Rosa Wales was almost 8 months old now, and what she was about to do was the most difficult thing she had ever faced.  The Mastigos of the Free Council who had faced down and tamed her own inner demons was gone.  Only the mother of the child was left, and she wept. Five Stones put his hands out over the altar.  She hesitated, then stepped forward and presented Rosa to the shaman.  

The atmosphere among those gathered was tense, but hopeful. The werewolf stepped forward from the darkness of the shadowed recesses.  Though she showed her war-form to the onlookers, the Lunacy did not affect them.  Her fur was a soft brown, and she was adorned with shamanic vestments and spirit charms.  Her staff, dangling with mystic seals and medicine stones, clanked on the hard dark wood of the floor. The mage and the shaman looked up at her.  She acknowledged them softly.  

Lisa and Five Stones faced one another across the square podium of the altar, and the werewolf took her place on the east side.  "Protector, " the female wolf said, her voice surprisingly motherly and soft, "take your place."  Mongwau the shaman stepped from the gathering to stand on the empty side opposite the wolf.

"It is an honor, Onowa."  he said, reverently.  "Let us begin."

The wolf, Onowa, shook her hand over the child held by Five Stones over the altar.  She began to speak the tongue of the spirits, reminding them of the pacts she had made with them.  Then, it began to appear.

It was a wispy thing, thin and gaunt.  It was made as of smoke, and curled from the burning sage smoke hanging in the air.  It reached out and began to coil around baby Rosa.  Lisa began to waver, but Jakey was there to hold her.  She did look at him this time, and his eyes told her to trust in him.

A second spirit appeared.  It wound it's way down like the other, and seemed similar yet had a different quality of light to it, eerily a smoky purple unlike the other.  It began to do the same, and as it did, the other spirit lifted away from the child to coil around the head of Onowa.  It made a lazy, coiling smoke ring above her head.  In a few moments, the other spirit followed suit.

The smoke coiled together, and the other shamans moved away from the altar, with Five Stones stepping straight back a step holding Rosa to his chest.  The wolf motioned to the altar, and commanded the spirit to appear and speak it's truth.  The two spirits made one, vaguely in the shape of a human upper body, in the space above the altar's burning sage.  When it spoke, a mouth opened to reveal the purple-lit smoke.  The voice that issued forth was a horrifying, rasping whisper.

"tHiS - cHiLd - - iS-oF - - - uRaThA - - -"

Lisa gasped, and many of the natives seemed to exchange nervous glances.

"tHiS - cHiLd - - wIlL nEvEr sLeEp - - -"

The spirit faded away.

Lisa looked at the ground, resigned.  Jakey looked at Five Stones, and they nodded to one another.  They had already made the agreement, and it stood.

"It is settled, then!" came a commanding voice, breaking the tense silence.  Bullet Braids stepped forward from the crowd and raised his hands to gather the attention of the gathering.  "The child is one of us.  She will go with Onowa."

He walked to Lisa and the Council.  The cabal also drew in closer, eager to hear what he had to say.

"As for you, willworkers..." Bullet Braids continued, lowering his voice as he approached.  "Now...and only now...will we speak towards what you ask of us.  The child will be safe with the Hunters in Darkness, and you have shown us you know of our ways...and what Mother Luna asks of us.  We believe we have seen the only way forward."

Bullet Braids stared at the Council with a scrutiny of one sizing up one's own allies instead of one sizing up how to destroy his enemy.  It was an odd sensation to those who had encountered him before.  "Come, " he said, "let us complete our pact, and speak of the seasons yet to come."